Friday 20 September 2013

The Color Poem by Luzhen Gong

Colors of a story


Red
Was the blood
with its dark red color
that flowed down to the leg.
Yellow
Who was so shy
that his shyness transformed into anger
when people spoke to him.
Blue
was his favorite color.
He loved it so much,
bright and stabbing
Green
was his favorite color
that he wanted on his #27 jersey,
but it never happened.
He tried it again and again.
However, he never succeeded in.
Brown
was his defeat.
The thought in mind that the number # 27 will always remain a dream,
made him depressed.
The anger, it grew throughout his body
as the same time he was ripped off by classmates
no, not the classmates are stupid as he always meant it
he was himself stupid
White
the mourning color in Asian cultures
Whenever he went home
hung him the fury of his classmates
still in the head
and he could not concentrate on school.
Appears simultaneously he was slain by his parents
because he was not paying attention in school.
And scared to go home, he was a fool
with the big boys, breakin all the rules.
He shed tears with my baby sister
Black
its new color, which makes him strong.
He forgot the part about his dream, his jersey number
and that he is a stupid classmate of his sold
No the school is his new target
He realized his future
his parents started to support him.
Loner, far and wide no brothers there
But maybe his dream is indeed really true.
And he can buy mum a house at last
With the money that he earned
...

Written by Luzhen_4B_2013
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1 comment:

  1. MsMuller1 October 2013 at 12:51

    Amazing! I am guessing this poem would work really well as a slam as well. What makes me think so is the inscreasing length of paragraphs towards the end.
    I appreciate how the reader only knows a some fragments about the character's life in the beginning and how the poem then goes on to reveil very detailed information about his personality.

    Just two things:
    - he never succeeded (you only need the "in" if you are going to add something afterwards. e.g.: he never succeeded in sports)
    - it's absolutely fine to use short forms such as breakin', givin' etc. in poetry but please add an apostrophe at the end so that it is clear that these forms are intentional an not typoes.

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